World’s Most Precious Bond

There are so many precious things in world classified under different categories like age group, gender etc.

But among all those precious things Mother-daughter bond comes on first position. 

Being grown up in joint family I knew the importance of relations from the childhood days. May be that’s the reason of my high EQ😃. Will not talk about my IQ cause you will get to know about it by reading this. Having high EQ has many cons.

Moment 1

In Jan 2015, I was in eighth semester and was focusing my energy on getting Job. My Sister’s marriage was on 15th January. In starting I wasn’t sure that whether I will be  able to attend it or not. But after getting assurance from placement coordinator of college that 0 company is visiting campus for placement in first two weeks of January, I decided to attend wedding and be the part of wedding preparations.

This was the best decision I have ever made. Because this changed my perception about Big Fat Indian Wedding. Most of us are against of this but believe me once you organize or part of the wedding preparations your perception will also change. There is so much fun in managing such an event. Although expending in wedding is justified only if financial state remains same after all the expenditures. Although our was not Big Fat Indian Wedding.

Before this wedding, I had attended 2-3 wedding of my siblings, so I knew that there is one function(not mentioned on invitation card because it’s time is not fixed😃) so called “Bidaai” in which Bride cries, didn’t knew why at that time.

In midnight, after taking those 7 rounds around auspicious fire only few formalities remain in completion of wedding. Suddenly between those formalities limbic system (the part of  brain associated with emotional arousal) of my younger sister signals her Pons (the brain’s “message station”), which then relays a signal to her lacrimal system to produce tears. The moment she dropped her first tear, lacrimal system of Bride got activated.

Now everyone i.e. mother, sister’s, brother’s, aunt’s etc. started crying. My mother wasn’t able to accept this change. She was not letting her go. I remember my sister saying while crying I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go and Mom’s reply Ok beta. And they both crying heavily. And then I came and said you must have to go, we have spent so much in wedding😃. My this sentence embarked angry look on my sister’s face which I wanted to see😃. But this doesn’t stop her from crying. But after 15-20 min this crying stops. No one knows how.

This moment as a whole changed my limbic system’s response to emotional situations.

1. Now I became too emotional
2. I easily get attached to people(real or reel) emotionally.

Below are the two examples:

I remember, while watching movie named Thappad, starring Taapsee Pannu in PVR, the moment her husband slapped her my eyes were full of tears.

I watched Big Bang Theory without subtitles. Some of you may be thinking what’s a big deal in this. For those I would like to share one information that I’m not so good at listening, writing, speaking English. But I watched the whole series two times  just because of bond they portray between different characters mainly Sheldon and Penny.

Moment 2

In Feb’2020 I got an opportunity to witness this mother-daughter relationship again as I attended one of my friend’s marriage. As I mentioned earlier that moment 1 changed my limbic system, Now I was started enjoying such bond i.e. unconditional love. So I was eagerly waiting for Bidaai time from starting of the marriage. And I told every friend of mine in marriage that we will cry together. That means now crying is part of planned activities.

We sat around shaadi mandap. As number of round/circle/fere which Bride and Groom takes around auspicious fire increments, mother’s limbic system started functioning. And between those circles pons of mother’s brain start sending low duty cycle digital signal to Lacrimal system. Once 7 rounds completed that low duty cycle digital signal converted to ramp function. And upon reaching top it stays there till bride cross the wedding premise. Now all of the sudden signal starts decreasing and reach to zero value.

There is one saying the more you plan, the less you achieve.

Same happened with us. Everyone (my friends) starring at me, in order to start shedding tears once I start. But unfortunately this time my other part of brain dominated limbic system of my brain, which in order prevented my Pons to relay a signal to Lacrimal system. My eyes were full of tears but brain didn’t signalled to release them.

But one thing I learnt from this is that if your eyes are full of tears and you don’t want to drop out them than just take few deep breaths and your tears will be gone.

Moment 3

In July’2021, again I was waiting to witness this mother-daughter bond in my cousin sister’s marriage. Like I did in moment 2, this time also I planned with my siblings to cry as much as possible.

There are so many functions in a marriage in which bride’s mother is so much busy that Bride, in those last days in which she can use surname provided by her father, which is the only identity of her till now, can’t even spend time with her mother.

This time I noticed one different relation between limbic system and Lacrimal system of mother and daughter. In that busy schedule of mother whenever there was eye contact between them limbic system of both get activated. This time pons doesn’t relay strong signals to Lacrimal system instead they relay signals to facial muscles. Those who have inborn trait of empathy can only understand what’s going on between them.

After completing all those functions which were mentioned on invitation card, we were waiting for Bidaai. There is one null hypothesis i.e.  the more the hype, the lesser the result. And in our(siblings) case we didn’t reached significant threshold to reject this null hypothesis cause this time also our eyes were full of tears but didn’t drop out any tears. Just took 2-3 deep breath and tears were gone.

Mother’s brain(excluding limbic system) try so hard to control limbic system but didn’t get success. And at last pons relays signal to Lacrimal system to start his show😭😭. And show lasts for 10-15 minutes. This marks the end of wedding.

This blog/man_ki_baat/stories was about the mother-daughter bond and my limbic system.

P.S. Father’s bond is equally rated

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